31.1 Anger
Question:
What is anger? Is it acceptable to get angry at someone?
Answer:
He who controls his anger where he can afford to be angry is the one who really controls his anger. What difference does it make if one does not control one's anger where one cannot afford to be angry? (Kural – 301)
Anger
is destructive in situations where one cannot afford to be angry.
There is nothing worse than that, even where one can afford to be angry. (kural – 302)
Only
evil consequences arise out of anger. Therefore, forget about
getting
angry at anyone. (kural – 303)
செல்லிடத்துக்
காப்பான் சினங்காப்பான் அல்லிடத்துக்
காக்கின்என் காவாக்கால் என்? (குறள் – 301)
செல்லா
இடத்துச் சினந்தீது செல்லிடத்தும்
இல்அதனின் தீய பிற. (குறள் – 302)
மறத்தல்
வெகுளியை யார்மாட்டும் தீய
பிறத்தல் அதனான் வரும். (குறள் – 303)
Explanation:
Anger is a common emotion. According to psychologists, "Anger is a strong emotion often caused by some form of wrong-doing, ill-treatment, or unfairness. We experience the feeling of anger when we think we have been mistreated or when we are faced with problems that keep us from getting what we want or attaining our personal goals. Everyone experiences anger, some more often than others." Researchers have observed that an average adult experiences anger about once a day and becomes annoyed or peeved about three times a day. Although anger is a common emotion experienced almost daily by almost everyone, depending upon the intensity and the frequency of experiencing anger, it affects our mental and physical health and our ability to have positive social interactions with others. It also affects our personal, family, and professional lives.
Valluvar has several interesting and profound observations regarding anger and its impact on human beings. There are occasions where one can afford to express one's anger. Although the child psychologists may disagree, it is not unusual for the parents to express their anger at their children when they misbehave. Invariably, the children tolerate the parents' anger or occasionally react with their own anger. In any case, the parents can and do express their anger at their children. On the other hand, it is unusual for an employee to express his anger towards his superiors. If he does so, he will be subjected to punishments. So, there are occasions when one can afford to express one's anger without severe consequences, and there are occasions when one cannot afford to do so.
Valluvar says if one is trying to control one's anger, one should
do so in situations when one can afford to be angry. For example, if a parent
tries to control their anger, they should restrain from getting angry at their
child. In general, it is better to control one's anger in all situations. The
Greek philosopher Plato is said to have mentioned that there are two things a
person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot. In
other words, anger should be completely avoided in all situations.
