82.1 Evil Friendship

 82.1 Evil Friendship

Question:

What is a friendship of pleasure? Is it an evil friendship?

                       

Answer:

Friendship does not mean simply a smiling face. More than

a mere smiling face, true friendship offers real delight to the

heart of the friends.                                                                            (Couplet – 786)

Friendship is not for pleasant laughter alone; it is to step forward

and provide criticism and correct a friend for his transgressions.     (Couplet – 784)

What comes from the enemies is a hundred million times

better than what comes from the friendship of those who are

interested only in merry-making and laughter.                                 (Couplet – 817)

 

முகநக நட்பது நட்பன்று நெஞ்சத்து

அகநக நட்பது நட்பு.                                                                 (குறள் – 786)

நகுதற் பொருட்டன்று நட்டல் மிகுதிக்கண்

மேற்சென்று இடித்தற் பொருட்டு.                                    (குறள் – 784)

நகைவகைய ராகிய நட்பின் பகைவரால்

பத்தடுத்த கோடி உறும்.                                                        (குறள் – 817)

 

 

Explanation:

            The concept of friendship has received the attention of philosophers since the days of the Greek philosopher Plato (428/427 BC – 348/347 BC). Of all the western philosophers who have analyzed the nature of friendship, Plato’s disciple Aristotle has clearly enunciated his views on friendship. According to Aristotle, there are three kinds of friendships: friendships of pleasure, utility, and virtue. People engage in friendships of pleasure because of the pleasure they bring to them. The friendship of utility is where people are friends because of the advantages they gain from being friends. The friendship of virtue is based on the moral and intellectual qualities of the friends. Of these three kinds of friendships, the friendships of pleasure and utility are considered incidental and are easily terminated when the pleasure or utility ceases to exist. The friendship of virtue is considered the best because it is the friendship between intrinsically good people, and Aristotle considers such friendship as lasting and complete.

 

There is an amazing similarity between Aristotle and Valluvar in their ideas regarding friendship. Like Aristotle, Valluvar also considers that friendships of pleasure and utility are not desirable and they should not be taken seriously. Both Aristotle and Valluvar believe that the friendship of virtue is real friendship.

 

The friendships mentioned in Couplets 786, 784, and 817 are examples of friendships of pleasure. In Couplet 786, Valluvar says that a superficial smile on the face is not an indication of genuine friendship. According to him, deep feelings of love should emanate from the heart and be reflected through the face. In Couplet 784, Valluvar insists that friendship is not just for laughter but also for promptly criticizing when one swerves from the right path. Valluvar’s criticism of friendship of pleasure is evident from Couplet 817, where he says that what one gets from one’s enemies is a hundred million times better than what one gets from the friendship of pleasure. Since the three types of friendships mentioned in Couplets 786, 784, and 817 are futile, Valluvar considers them evil.