91.1 Being Henpecked

 91.1 Being Henpecked

Question:

                       What happens to husbands who dote on their wives?

Answer:

Husbands who perpetually dote on their wives will

not achieve anything significant and men of action will

avoid such practice.                                                                            (Couplet – 901)

மனைவிழைவார் மாண்பயன் எய்தார் வினைவிழைவார்

வேண்டாப் பொருளும் அது.                                                   (குறள் – 901)

 

Explanation:

 In Couplet 901, Valluvar criticizes men who fear their wives, always acting on their words and being overly infatuated with them.

There have always been men who were subservient to their wives. In Xenofon’s classic book Symposium, we hear about Socrates’ wife as dominant and shrewish. Socrates argues that he actually likes this challenge but is also portrayed as someone who is putting up with a lot of trouble. He was subservient to his dominant wife.

In medieval Europe, we find another story that informs us about male compliance. Phyllis was the beautiful wife or concubine of Alexander the Great. The young emperor’s adviser Aristotle was dissatisfied with the emperor spending more time on his mistress than on fighting wars, so he told the emperor to break up with Phyllis. As revenge, Phyllis seduced the philosopher, and with the woman’s wiles, she persuaded him to let her ride on his back. She arranged for the emperor to see this, proving that the wise master himself was also weak.

Men being subservient is not an uncommon phenomenon even today. But men who desire to achieve great things would not like to be under the undue influence of their wives. In an ideal marriage, men and women would love and respect each other. Furthermore, these days, women are often equally educated and knowledgeable as men, and therefore there is nothing wrong with couples consulting with each other whenever and wherever necessary