11.4 Gratitude

 11.4 Gratitude

 

Question: 

Should we always remember a good deed done to us by others?

 

Answer: 

It is improper to forget the good deeds done to us. But it is good to

forget the bad deeds at once.                                                                     (Couplet - 108)

நன்றி மறப்பது நன்றன்று; நன்றல்லது

அன்றே மறப்பது நன்று.                                                             (குறள் – 108)

 

Explanation:

If we do a good deed to someone, and if they forget, we would not like that. On the other hand, if those to whom we did good deeds remember them and respond to us with kindness, it will encourage us to do more good deeds. So, we should never forget a good act done to us.

 

I remember to have read a story about a boy who remembered a good deed. That story is about a young boy who had a paper route. He was distributing local newspapers to the residents in his town. He was walking and distributing the paper. He felt that he could distribute papers to more people and increase his income if he had a bike. But he did not have the money to buy a bike. He approached several local banks for a loan of hundred dollars so that he could buy a bike. All the bank managers refused to grant him the loan because he had no collateral. Finally, the manager of a very small bank called Thrifty Bank was kind enough to give the boy a hundred dollars loan. The boy used that money to buy a bike, and from the additional income, he repaid the loan in a short time. Years passed by. The bank manager who lent the money forgot all about the incident.

After almost thirty years later, one day, a middle-aged man walked into the Thrifty Bank’s manager’s office and told him he wanted to deposit a check in the bank. When the manager saw the check, he was shocked and surprised. The check was for ten million dollars. The bank manager asked the visitor, “This is a very small bank, and I am surprised that you want to deposit this large sum of money in this bank. May I ask you why?” The visitor replied, “Sir, you may not remember me. When I was a little boy, I wanted a hundred dollars loan to buy a bike. All the other banks in town refused to give me the loan. But you gave me the loan. I never forgot that. Now, I am the Chief Financial Officer in a large corporation. I have all the confidence in you that you will make good use of this money to help many people. By remembering the good deed done by the bank manager, the visitor made the manager happy, and he was also delighted. 

 

    If a bad deed is done to us, it is better to forget that as soon as possible. By remembering the bad deed, we get annoyed and angry. We are also tempted to get even with the one who did the bad deed. Remembering a bad deed results in more bad deeds. 

    So, Valluvar’s advice is not to forget the good deeds and forget the bad deeds as soon as possible. Like Valluvar, the Chinese philosopher Confucius also says, “Forget injuries; never forget kindness.”