79.1 Friendship

 79.1 Friendship

Question:

            What are the characteristics of a good friendship? 

Answer:

Is there anything more difficult than developing a good and

intimate friendship? Is there anything that can offer more

protection and support for one’s activities than such a friendship?  (Couplet – 781)

 

The friendship of worthy men is like the waxing moon, and the

friendship of the fools is like the waning moon.                                (Couplet – 782)

 

Every time one studies a great book, one appreciates its

beauty and value of that great book. The noble

friendship among good men is also like that.                                    (Couplet – 783)

 

செயற்கரிய யாவுள நட்பின் அதுபோல்

வினைக்கரிய யாவுள காப்பு.                                   (குறள் – 781)

 

நிறைநீர நீரவர் கேண்மை பிறைமதிப்

பின்னீர பேதையார் நட்பு.                                      (குறள் – 782)

 

நவில்தொறும் நூல்நயம் போலும் பயில்தொறும்

பண்புடை யாளர் தொடர்பு.                                     (குறள்- 783)

 

Explanation:

Valluvar considers good friendship very similar to Aristotle’s concept of the friendship of virtue. As Aristotle observed, man is a social animal and needs interaction with other members of society. In the initial stages, he develops casual acquaintances. If there are shared values and mutual bonds, the acquaintances become friendships over time. Valluvar considers that although developing good and intimate friendships is difficult, it is still worth doing it. Nothing like excellent and close friendship can offer protection and support for one’s efforts. Of course, the answer to the questions raised in Couplet 781 is negative. 

            Valluvar contends that a good and intimate friendship will continue to grow and become stronger. He compares such a friendship to a waxing moon and a great book. These comparisons are very illustrative and informative to understand and appreciate Valluvar’s ideas about the nature of good and intimate friendship. At the time of the new moon, the moon is invisible. Then, it becomes increasingly more visible during the ensuing days and eventually becomes the full moon. According to Valluvar, good and intimate friendship among men of good character is like the waxing moon, and the friendship among fools deteriorates like a waning moon. Of course, the waxing moon begins to wane after the full moon. But, like all metaphors, this comparison should not be taken literally. In addition to comparing good friendship to a waxing moon, Valluvar also compares the good and intimate friendship among men of good character to a great book. Every time one reads a great book, one appreciates the value of that great book and gets more insight. So also, the good and intimate friendship among men of character grows stronger.