79.3 Friendship

 79.3 Friendship

Question:

What is the purpose of true friendship?

Answer:

Friendship is not for pleasant laughter alone; it is to step forward and

provide criticism and correct a friend for his transgressions.                        (Couplet– 784) 

Friendship does not mean simply a smiling face. More than a mere

smiling face, true friendship offers real delight to the heart of the friends. (Couplet - 786) 

Like a hand that goes to the rescue when a garment slips, providing

spontaneous help to a friend when he faces adversity is true friendship.    (Couplet– 788) 

நகுதற் பொருட்டன்று நட்டல் மிகுதிக்கண்

மேற்சென்று இடித்தற் பொருட்டு.                                      (குறள் – 784) 

முகநக நட்பது நட்பன்று நெஞ்சத்து

அகநக நட்பது நட்பு.                                                              (குறள் – 786) 

உடுக்கை இழந்தவன் கைபோல ஆங்கே

இடுக்கண் களைவதாம் நட்பு.                                          (குறள் – 788) 

 

Explanation:

According to Valluvar, the purpose of true friendship is not for mutual entertainment and pleasant companionship. Superficial smiles and merry-making are not the objectives of true friendship. The purpose of true friendship is to be helpful,  offer constructive criticism when necessary, and share the sufferings whenever possible. 

The real purpose of true friendship is also to provide unconditional and sincere help. Valluvar uses an interesting analogy to illustrate the unconditional help provided as a result of true friendship. If an individual’s garment slips and he is about to be subject to indecent exposure, then the individual’s hand grabs his garment instantaneously. In this action, the individual does not consider the various options and does not weigh each option's pros and cons. His immediate and almost unconscious instantaneous reaction to the situation is to grab the slipping garment so that he will not be exposed.